In remembrance 3 years later

June 12, 2019
Hello Residents of Orlando and followers from around the world. The words that follow may be hard to read. If you are easily offended please stop reading now. But if

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of the tragic and hateful event that occurred at the Pulse Night Club. A place where patrons, staff and guest performers should have felt safe to live their truth. A place where they could temporarily  (for some) take off the man-made shackles of what society deemed correct and be free. A place to dance out their frustrations, be with others in kinship, bond with others who shared their view on love. A place where single women could go to dance and have fun with  the knowledge that they would be safe from the ever present threat of men who were on the prowl for them and taking offense when they were turned down. A place where men and women, lgbtqia+ or straight could just BE. Be themselves without judgement, without fear, with out the heavy burden of condemnation that is ever present. A business owner lost their livelihood. A place where 49 human beings were slaughtered. A place where 49 pieces of future where taken from this world.

And yet...

There are places where young boys are raped in secret under the protection and guise of religion, boy scouts, sports franchises, modeling agencies. There is sex trafficking and child pornography. Which are inherently wrong and against the law but they seem to prevail, unchecked, (ok that's not fair) barely checked is more accurate. There is no all out campaign to stop the criminal acts that take away the chance to choose and be free to live and discover who they are. There are only small teams of committed people...its like sticking a needle in an onslaught of flood water. We fight over nonsense such as unisex bathrooms when each and every person who lives in a dwelling has a bathroom that everyone shares. Emergency rooms, doctors offices... many times have bathrooms that everyone shares.

And who, who I ask is the main perpetrator that keeps the fear of shared bathrooms and shared spaces a threat? I ask you who is it that hide in bathrooms laying in wait to assault children? Who is it that violate the uncool kids in schools and the other men in prison around the world.

I don't have all of the answers, hell I don't have any of the answers....just opinions. A terrible sense of loss and a great appreciation to all of the people near and far who sent their love, donations, took time out of their busy schedules to say I am here for you Orlando. We are United, We are one. We won't let these victims be forgotten. Thank you for the beautiful mementos, the art work, the letters, all being meticulously preserved by those caring individuals who are tasked with preserving these precious bit of Orlando history....sad and horrific as it may be.

There is a wonderful memorial around the site. There are places throughout Orlando, the city beautiful, where there are artistic reminders of that fateful night.  There is still so much more growth, understanding and acceptance to be done. I am hopeful as humans we can learn to love ourselves and stop the self loathing and hatred of love .Stop looking at it in a sexual context and look at the individual person that found a kindred soul, someone who understands them in their best and worst moments, just like anyone else. Change and love is what is needed to be better humans. To heal, to look at the advantages of letting people aspire to be their best selves with other consenting individuals. Heavy is the burden that are carried by the small amount of LGBTQIA+ celebrities and influencers. How would you feel if you were denied services because you were in a hetero/straight or cis relationship? Gay people don't go around waging a campaign to wipe out cis people. And some cis people are the absolute worst and they get their story told on cable, Netflix, Hulu and Amazon. They go on to be successful actors, politicians, presidents.

I was a victim of molestation, rape and physical abuse. I have been discriminated publicly and privately because I am a black woman. None of these atrocities were committed by gay people. When I was at a low point after having an accident and then being very sick, a stud (masculine lesbian) (took care of me and my children) and not once did she force herself on me or my children. A gay man with HIV took care of my children and me when I started working a job for a fortune 500 company making sure we looked our best and they were well fed and cared for while I worked long hours. He was taken from us by a jealous heterosexual woman. I knew a wonderful gay man who used to come to my apartment and do my hair for a few bucks and a place he didn't have to hide his true self. He made me look amazing with a box perm. He was so talented and tormented that he was on drugs and soon passed from an overdose because he could not express his true self outside of my apartment, where he was looked at as just a person. I miss them both dearly.

As I said before, I only have my opinions and small experiences. But I hope love truly wins one day soon.

Thank you for reading

We are #OrlandoStrong  We are #OrlandoUnited  We are the City Beautiful


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